Ever feel like nobody else is as overwhelmed and doubting themselves like a jerk the way you do?
Usually I share once I’ve fully mastered a challenge and can confidently give you positive takeaways. But today I’ll share from the overcoming stage.
Before I write more, let me tell you what this week’s email will be about and how you can influence what I’ll cover next week!
Today, you’ll get an inside look into the journey it has been to feel I deserve my job, what I’m doing to overcome this, and how it can apply to working past your growth “demons”
To pick next week’s topic, reply to this email voting for either content design tips or tips for more meaningful engagement
I was feeling like I’m not good enough for my title as head of content at VEED. Going from working in social media focused roles to overseeing all things content at work is a big change for me. I no longer create content. That’s sooo weird for me. I’m more behind the scenes now creating processes, hiring, training, etc. When you’re used to a routine and it changes the transition can feel awkward.
About a month ago, it got to a point where I no longer knew if everything was just in my head or if I’m actually letting people down.
Maybe you can relate because you constantly question if you’re worthy of something. You look at other people 10, 15, or 25 steps ahead of you in your career. You wonder who the hell are you to be attempting to do what you do?
But I realized, as usual, it was all in my head. My internal dialogue, especially when I’m growing, can be a major jerk. I think for as long as we challenge ourselves there will be discomfort or else it wouldn’t be a challenge. What’s hard is finding a healthy amount of pressure/stress.
If I don’t get out of my comfort zone and do the same shit all the time I tend to get comfortable which then becomes boredom and then feelings worthless from staying in the same place.
If I get 25 steps (for the sake of assigning a number) out of my comfort zone into entirely new territory I might drown in my thoughts and become unproductively anxious/stressed because I have nothing familiar and enjoyable to refer to and build from.
If I get about 3 to 5 steps out of my comfort zone I have a healthy amount of pressure on me but it’s a pressure that’s also exciting because I’m expanding on an existing foundation.
It’d be a lie if I told you the self-doubt is gone. I haven’t suddenly discovered a cure. But remembering that our brains are hardwired for survival and not risk taking helps me reframe my perspective and challenge my self-doubt with confident thoughts. Instead of “what if I fail” it’s “what if I succeed?”
Survival does not like risk. Survival likes knowing your basic needs are met. You don’t always NEED that promotion or new client to survive…but you want it because you have ambition. This is when your brain starts acting like a fool like “woahhhh what do you think you’re doing? You could FAIL!” because you’re risking your comfort.
When you get into one of these anxious states, you feel overwhelmed by so much information. Things feel big, scary, and unachievable. So help yourself by breaking it down. What’s the one thing you can do to get a step or two closer to feeling like you can do this?
For example, if you feel like you’re not smart enough then what can you do to feel smarter? Maybe you can watch some YouTube videos, read some blogs, take a course or pay someone has been where you are before to help you out.
here’s what I like to tell myself:
You won’t always feel ready or worthy of what you want even after you’ve worked hard for it and gotten it. But this doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it! Be proud of yourself, never get comfortable, and always keep learning to empower yourself with knowledge.
If you feel down or inadequate, be gentle on yourself. But also objectively dissect if there is any truth to it. And if so, view it as something exciting because you now know the areas you can work on so you feel better about yourself!
Don’t neglect your personal needs. If you’re a workaholic who struggles with this too remember that if you want to do a good job you have to take care of yourself first. If you don’t then it’s a matter of time before you burn out and become depressed. Respect your office hours, don’t be hard on yourself for saying no (you can’t please everyone), take the mental health day, eat better, move more, do things that make you happy, etc (this is the hardest one for me to be consistent with btw)
I hope this message brought a helpful perspective to anyone who needed it!
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